Peter Pan’s Legacy

Ah, those famous words.

Never Grow Up“.

Well, I have something to share with the class.

I’m scared of growing up.

Not growing old. There’s a profound difference.

You can’t help but grow old. That’s the way life goes.

But growing up? It terrifies me – and let me explain why.

I like to think I’m fairly mature. To be honest, that’s the one compliment that has been awarded to me quite regularly. I don’t think I’ve ever done something purely on a whim.

The problem is, I’m not sure if that was due to maturity or cowardice.

Fortunately, I’ve started to grow out of the latter. (A bit of the former too, but we’ll overlook that for now.)

The problem is that I have stifled myself somewhere along the way.

I can’t quite describe it.

The best I can give is that I feel entirely too sensible. I over-think. I analyse every potential decision until I’ve talked myself out of it. And the few decisions I do want to take, I feel the need to discuss and then justify to the people around me.

Now, these are inherently good qualities. However, my problem is that what started as a way to temper my impulsive nature, has gone too far the other way. There are times that I  honestly feel paralysed with indecision.

Which leads to my being disinclined, let’s say, towards the concept of growing up.

I’m fully aware that I have more development to do. It would be beyond arrogant of me to think that I’ve finished growing up. But I’m worried that, in the process, I will lose what little fearlessness I have left.

And it’s running out, fast.

I’m convinced we all need to be a little reckless to live – because we all deserve more than a life in the sidelines.

I suppose what I really want is to grow old with the same sense of spirit I had when I was younger.

Who knows? Maybe I can.


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